Thursday, September 24, 2015

As the storm rages

   I haven't been a mom long, three and a half years to be exact. I may not know it all, but what I do know is tantrums happen, for no reason! For example, right before I sat down to write, my 1 yr old was playing with a clothes basket and some tupperware. All of a sudden the basket goes flying and the grunting began. What the hell just happened? She went from 0-60 in .2 seconds! The reason? Who knows! But what I do know is they are tiny people who can't communicate like they want to and that may be a trigger for them. What I also know is, I'm not about to waste my time trying to keep my kids from having tantrums. All of these books on "How to have a calm toddler", "Stopping tantrums before they happen", and "Having tantrums the right way" are some of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard of. First of all, a CALM toddler? Oxymoron!Yes, your kid having a tantrum in a public, private or outer space is annoying as all hell, but they are learning their boundaries and cause and effect. Because my daddy gave me water and not juice, I'm going to have a fit. Because I had a fit, I'm not drinking my water. Because I didn't drink my water I'm thirsty. The kid is going to eventually realize, though it may be fun to yell, kick, cry and scream, I'm still not going to get what I want. When I say eventually, I mean my almost 4 yr daughter still has tantrums from time to time. 
   There is not one book out there that's going to give you a clear and defined approach to tantrums. Tantrums are something that comes with having kids. Here are some ways I've dealt with them in the past.

1) Ignore
More times than not the tantrum is your child wanting your attention. If that is the case I let them know that's not the way to go about doing it. Most times I just step over them.

2) Consequences
Because you showed your butt in Costco today, you can't watch 'Wild Kratts'.

This last one is my favorite and I encourage every parent to try it at least once.

3) Match their crazy
Oh yeah, you wanna scream?! I can scream just as loud! You wanna jump around and flail like a dying fish? Okay, I raise your flailing like a fish and head butting the floor! Most times this ends with them begging me to stop and then them falling fast asleep.
   Parenting is NOT an easy job, but that doesn't mean it can't be fun. Have fun with your kids while they are in this crazy, psycho phase in their lives. Make fun of yourself. Make fun of your kids. And remember, be kind to your children and they will hopefully learn it and be kind to you!

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