Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Hey you! Yeah you!

           As a writer I have kept my subjects light and informative. Well, this blog is more of a rant than anything else. I feel as though I have been in too many socially awkward and disturbing situations that I feel compelled to share them with you. This is not meant to offend anyone, though it may. But if the shoe fits.......
          Hey you! Yeah you, person talking really loudly on the cell phone. We are in a public place. No one wants to hear how your baby daddy is finally getting out of jail. Then you have the audacity to get upset when you think someone is "listening" to your conversation. We are not listening by choice, we are prisoners to your random blabbing! And to stay on the topic of cell phones, person texting while driving. You are so sure that the text that you are trying to send is more important that everyone else's lives? Because I really don't care about your life if you don't care about yours. You don't think that the near miss of the little girl on her bike would make you think twice, right? That would imply that you think, my bad!
           Hey you! Yeah you! Person that won't let me over though I've had my blinkers on since the last exit. You not letting me over won't cut off anytime to your commute, you inconsiderate dumas! Then you feel the need to get angry when I decide to just get over anyway. Oh well, I'll wave as I get off at the next exit.
            Hey you! Yeah you! Cheesy, lame dude using slang inappropriately. No one wants to "get jiggy" in 2013! And everything that doesn't work right is not "ghetto." Please stop asking "what's the deallio my shizzle?' And no, I don't want to slap you some skin on the back hand side.
            Hey you! Yeah you! Man who took a bath in Stetson. You stink to high hell! I smell you coming before I ever see you. You make my eyes water and my throat itch. You make me want to cut off my nose! A couple of squirts is all you need and deodorant wouldn't hurt either.
             This one's my favorite! Hey you! Yeah you! Person that parked so badly that the two spots on either side of you can't be used. You suck at life! It's Black Friday and the mall is already packed. I could have had a parking spot, but noooooooo, dumb, dumb ditty had to take up three spots! I usually leave heartfelt letters on their windshields.
             And finally, Hey you! Yeah you! Person with the unruly kid running up and down the aisle in the restaurant. Your kid has bumped my chair like 20 times and has taken my breadsticks. NO, you kid is not just being a kid, it has turned into a spawn of Satan! Please stop your kid from making it rain macaroni. And no, your awkward smile isn't easing the discontent of the other customers. You know your child. If they are not restaurant or just human interaction ready, keep them home until they evolve into a regular child.
            Well, that's all I have for today. Of course there are many other socially unacceptable behaviors out there, but I think this is enough. Like I said, I didn't write this to offend, I just wanted to shed some light on some different things and poke fun. So, until next time, be kind and kindness will find you!


  1. I needed to read this today, especially with the way I've been feeling!! You are on point with these articles. :-)

  2. Please stop your kid from making it rain macaroni <----- cant stop laughing