Monday, March 25, 2013


         When I had my daugher February 18, 2012, I got a lot of advice from moms who had been there done that. More times than not, I followed that advice, simply because I had no clue as to what I was doing. But, the instant I started relying on my own instincts, things got a little weird. I began to experience something that kinda felt like.... high school. I experienced other moms frowning upon the way I decided to parent my child. I felt peer pressure! I didn't know what to do. Everything I did had a million different ways to do it.
          Before I was ever pregnant, I knew that I was going to breastfeed. So, the baby came and I did breastfeed, but for some reason I was doing it wrong. "Don't breastfeed with the tv on", "don't let the baby fall asleep." Don't do this, do this, this is the right way, wrong way... etc... I had my mother tell me to only breastfeed for three months, while the pediatrician was calling for two years! My sister-in-law did it for two months, I had a friend who didn't do it at all and I did it for nine months. We all did what was best for our babies and ourselves. I supported their decisions. But there is a culture of ugliness between moms. Do we really need more criticism? Don't we get enough of that from society? Just as we are all different in our own ways, we will parent the way our personalities dictate. Now, I'm not saying if you see abuse don't say anything, please advocate for that child, but if it's something that's just "different", be open minded and supportive. As women, we have to be more encouraging. We are so many things to so many people, we can forget what we need to be for ourselves. We should take time to applaud women doing things we can't, that go places we won't, that do things that wouldn't be considered orthodox. We have to find ways to pat each other on the back for the grueling work that is womanhood, wife hood and motherhood. So, the next time you talk to a woman doing something that you may not agree with, be understanding and supportive and continue to do what you feel is right for you and yours, because that's what we all want.

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