Thursday, March 13, 2014

No One Knows What They're Doing!

The past few weeks my daughter,  who is now two, has been coming home from school with not-so-good reports. The first written report we received stated, "Ava played in the dramatic play area. She watched the class crab walk around. During playtime Ava hit a child in the face with a basket. I do not understand this behavior because it was unprovoked." Whaaaat!!?? Was my initial reaction. Why would my sweet, little Pookapie do something like that? I mean kids hit, but face shots? So my husband and I called her teacher on three-way to discuss ways to have a more positive reaction to her peers. Do you know what her teacher said? "This is just a phase she's going to grow out of. You're not doing anything wrong." Okay, if we're not doing anything wrong, then why is my child wrecking shop on the other kids?  So, we got over that and tried to teach Ava that hitting wasn't good and for her to say what's wrong instead of screaming and falling out. So, yesterday as I was waiting for my husband to pick me up for a doctor's appointment,  I realized he was running late. He called to let me know he was on the way. As soon as he got there, and I got in the car he handed me a stack of papers. "How school handles biters." Awww man! My child bit someone?! The report reads like so, "Ava and another child was fighting over a toy. Ava got upset and bit the other child." I thought to myself, "They're going to kick my child out of school! She's acting like the Tasmanian Devil!" Maybe we were doing something wrong. Maybe I wasn't spending enough time with her. Maybe she can sense the new baby. Either way I don't know why she's behaving like this. So when we got back home we looked at a no biting video that had a catchy tune. Hopefully it helps her.
       I said all of that to make this point; NO ONE knows what they're doing as parents. As smart, intelligent and educated as I may think I am, none of that matches up against a growing child, let alone a two year old! When you become a parent, you go in with all of these grand expectations. Yes, your child can grow up to be so many wonderful things, but until then they have to be babies that cry for reasons you know not. They have to be toddlers who test any bit of patience you may have. They have to be children who need to be taught the basics of life. They have to become teenagers, who generally speaking are selfish with a strange sense of entitlement. Then and only then, after the sleepless nights, tantrums,  calls from the teacher and having "the talk" do our kids become young adults. Until you kid becomes a grow up, you are not a pro. Everyday my child shows me something new she has learned good or bad. And I just have to roll with the punches.
       There have been "experts" and child behaviorist to write books as how to deal with a child. I will never tell anyone not to seek knowledge or wise counsel,  but it's probably a waste of time. Most of these "experts" don't even have kids! Though I am not an expert I will say this. Parenthood is a total thrill ride in which you don't know the next twist or turn. As long as you stay strapped into your harness and keep all arms and legs inside at all times, you should be fine. And though this may not register to my child right now, be kind and kindness will find you and you children will develop a sense of kindness.
         Side note: be on the lookout for new vlogs coming in the near future!

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